Few Things Left Unsaid : Jenz
You deserve this dedicated blog to show to the world how much you mattered to me. Yes some friendships are intense and may be at this time you are too overwhelmed to accept that . Today is horrible day on 04 June 2025 for both of us. Dear readers, in future I’m not going to monetise this particular blog. Wont place any ads on it. Its only dedicated to Jenz
You were there at my lowest. So I’m grateful for that.I was caught in a loop to get clarity before wether you are there or not, and you were stuck in a world of your own. Deep down I know you have unhealed wounds that keep you away from real , too close relationships . You fear when real care hits you because you are not used to it now. Because you numbed your past pains, I hope you heal it soon. But never ending question why you don’t express or say im here when things get to real. Instead, each time you defend yourself, you are too guarded and afraid to confess. Yes, I made a mistake. At home, you carry the weight of being the decision-maker.
So every question might feel like a challenge or a threat—like someone trying to control you, so every question asked to you feels like a burden, or crossing your boundaries or maybe your nervous system tells, someone is going to harm you but I can’t fake my emotions. I was , am and will be real. I didn’t manipulate you. I raised my voice and asked questions to you, held you accountable for your actions even though they are not i deserved as a true friend , and I didn’t abandon you when things get tough. But you were too guarded and you feel like you are prioritising your peace but no, you are adding one more to your unhealed wounds. You are failing day by day by distracting yourself from real connections and keeping surface level distractions. If you are not answering your friends even for a week and saying you are not feeling like it but reality is, here who failed to whom ??. The friends who reached you with hopes you are there for them or you , who treats and places yourself over everything. What are you running from? Why do you lose people? When will you stop?
This parting away does not mean we are not friends anymore. If such things meant to end our friendship then this is not friendship to begin with. We both tolerated in our own way but whatever happened is for good. To be honest this is a much needed gap for both of us so that we can come with strong, real friendships that stay through thick and thin . But I deserved those minimum unheard words from your side which caused this storm. How can you expect an emotionally sensitive and impatient friend to understand you without saying words? Okay but when are you going to understand all those persons behind those unanswered texts in your phone. You are not protecting your peace.
If my peace comes from hurting others, is that peace I deserve?
Short answer: No , peace that comes at the expense of others’ suffering is not true or sustainable peace—it is a temporary illusion built on harm. The peace you truly deserve is one that aligns with compassion, integrity, and mutual well-being.
Why This Matters:
True Peace is Rooted in Harmony :
Authentic peace isn’t just the absence of conflict for you—it’s a state where your actions don’t create conflict for others. If your “peace” relies on hurting others, it’s often a mask for avoidance, control, or unresolved pain (e.g., guilt, anger, or fear).
The Cycle of Harm :
Hurting others might bring short-term relief (e.g., revenge, dominance, or escaping accountability), but it usually leads to long-term unrest—guilt, retaliation, or broken relationships. True peace can’t thrive in that soil.
You Deserve Better :
If you’re asking this question, part of you already knows this “peace” isn’t fulfilling. You deserve a deeper, kinder peace—one that comes from self-awareness, healing, and choices you can be proud of.
Reflection Questions :
What void am I trying to fill by hurting others? (Power? Control? Safety?)
How might I find peace without causing harm? (Boundaries? Honesty? Repairing past harm?)
If I saw someone else doing this to me , would I call it “peace” or something else?
Moving Forward :
Acknowledge the Pattern: Recognize when harm is disguised as peace.
Seek Healthier Ways: Therapy, mindfulness, or honest conversations can help address the root of your actions.
Repair When Possible: If you’ve hurt others, accountability (apologies, change) can bring real peace.
True peace is like a tree: it grows from how you treat others and yourself. You’re capable of nurturing both.
I know you are not evil, you are kind. You are chaotic and calm. But i tried my best to keep this friendship to hold but I too have feelings each time I came with the same energy and care. I’m not evil and my words came from deep emotions may be they seem harsh. I know you may not even realize it, but the same avoidance and emotional withdrawal you showed might quietly echo into other parts of your life—like your home. It’s not criticism, it’s just what psychology shows us: the energy we carry affects those closest to us, even unintentionally. Kids especially—they sense everything. Not just our words, but our moods, our silences, the way we show up. And I say this not to accuse, but because they deserve your fullest presence. You matter deeply to them. And healing yourself isn’t just for you—it’s for them, too.
You are doing great in this life, life is unfair to you. You deserve a better one. Those with you also deserve better. Why do you lose people when you can keep them? By simply losing your armour.
Why do we discard people outside the family easily? Is it fair?
Short Answer: No
We often discard people outside the family easily because evolution, fear, and social conditioning train us to prioritize “our own.” But true connection isn’t about blood—it’s about who chooses to stay, respect, and grow with us.
Why This Happens :
1. The Illusion of Safety in Familiarity
Biology’s Bias: Our brains are wired to favor kin (or those who feel like kin) because, historically, they were more likely to protect and share resources.
Fear of the Unknown: Outsiders require trust-building, and distrust is a survival instinct. Letting strangers in feels risky, even if they mean no harm.
2. Society's Hidden Rules
“Blood is Thicker Than Water” (But the full quote is “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”—meaning chosen bonds can be stronger.)
Systems Reward Loyalty to Family: Inheritance, cultural rituals, even laws often prioritize biological ties over emotional ones.
3. Emotional Laziness
Convenience Over Courage: It’s easier to default to family (even toxic ones) than to vet, trust, and invest in new people.
Avoiding Accountability: Family often gets endless chances; outsiders are held to higher standards.
The Cost of Discarding Outsiders :
Missed Soulmates: Some of the deepest love comes from friends, mentors, or partners who choose you daily.
Echo Chambers: Only trusting “your own” limits growth—new perspectives often come from outsiders.
Moral Contradiction: Would you tolerate a stranger treating you how family does?
What You Deserve : A Better Filter
Instead of “Family vs. Outsiders,” ask:
Do they respect me? (Not just tolerate me.)
Do they show up? (Not just when convenient.)
Would I allow this from someone I love? (Fairness goes both ways.)
Ask Yourself:
Who outside my bloodline has loved me without obligation? Why did I ever call them “less”?
Have you ever thought of, what comes to mind if we were on death bed?
Is it ego, self respect, pride, money, peace or
Did I forgive while it still mattered?
Did I love without keeping score?
Who sat with me in silence when I was broken?
Shutting out a friend who felt like home… because “they weren’t family.”?
The stranger who saw your pain before your own family did.?
Why Do We Ignore This Until It's Too Late :
The Comfort of Scripts: “Family first” feels easier than curating bonds one honest moment at a time.
Fear of Vulnerability: It’s safer to love out of obligation than to admit: “I care more about my best friend than my brother.”
You won’t wish you’d clung tighter to hollow obligations. You’ll wish you’d held on to the people who made your soul feel safe.
I was not chasing attention. I was chasing connection yeah after so much of effort, tolerance and getting back ignorance, silence and controlling emotions is hard.You know what, i could have been silent, ignore, match your energy and keep connection wit you and be there in your follower list but what is the use of it. if i dont tell you, your mistakes or actions how its difficult for others. My words may feel harsh but my actions and care are not. My friend, I’m still here, you abandoned me not I. So my friend sit in an empty room and think quietly. You are not hurting me but yourself. You carry this abandoning energy around you. Right now you feel relief but when those distractions fade remember Im still here. My words are flowing, my words were harsh but not my actions or care. You treat words as real care but actions must speak. Stop prioritising that easy escape and find real meaning. I was not spying, I left those things but you were stuck there only. When you can give hours or little time to those distractions why cant you give it to those unanswered real people. Is it emotionally heavy? or what are you running away from? I don’t know what you are thinking but consider thinking aabout it. It’s not for me, it’s for you. You know where to find me. You abandoned me, not I. You are still the same for me and I’m sorry my last emotional burst. I’m not like that, I’m not evil but I don’t do such things out of anger they came. Your actions you must analyse them. Hoping you are coming back once you settle your emotions. But to be honest I can’t understand without expressing yourself to me clearly. Do not let pride, hesitation, ego or fear stop you from reaching me. You know where to find me.
You said once that you don’t open up easily. And I never asked you to. I only asked you to show up—not perfectly, just honestly. Silence isn’t strength, my friend. It’s self-protection dressed as peace. One day, when the distractions are gone, this silence might echo louder than you expect.Still, if your heart ever whispers that it’s safe to return—do it. Don’t let time bury something that could’ve healed with one conversation. We weren’t just a chapter. We were a mirror. I saw your worst and you still mattered to me. Can you say the same? Once my friend told me: we are not arguing, we are settling our emotions.
My friend, I wanted to heal you by showing your avoidance, inconsistancy, withdrwals and emotinal unavaibility and how those are hurting people around you. But when you are not ready to heal yourself i cant help. I was your mirror. I hope one day you will see what i was trying to offer. And if someday your heart softens or clarity finds you, know that i never shut the door, you can always return. Heal my friend, dont numb it, just feel it.
You are always special to me.
I can write even more and can write book on this but still :
Few Things Left Unsaid